FOR THE SCHOLAR ON A BUDGET: PHG
Extra, extra! Read all about it! Famed archeologist Notre Latedto Anyonetrademarked excavated an underground temple! And what did she find? A pit of dangerously adorable kittens. (Kittens. Why'd it have to be kittens? She HATES kittens!) Also, she found rare sunglass artifacts known to ancient civilizations as PHGs. You may not like these pedantic frames, but she doesn’t care. She wants Artifacts, Not Artifeelings. (SAME. Excavators are our motivators.)
A kid brought homemade "dinosaur bones" to Show and Tell and the teacher called him out. Totally ROASTED him!!!!!
Take that, Mallory.